Children And Divorce
According to The Newsletter of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (summer 1997), “only acts of war and the events of natural disasters are more harmful to a child’s psyche than the divorce process”. Social science research reveals that the effects of divorce not only impact a child into adulthood, but they also affect the next generation of children as well. With most statistics reporting that one out of every two marriages in America currently ends in divorce, it can be concluded that a large number of children will be affected by these decisions.
Most adults say divorce is one of the worst experiences in their lives to date. Hopefully, most will agree that they want to protect their children as much as possible from the conflicts of this adult situation. To do so means to consider everything from your child’s perspective. Children need to know that their well-being is a top priority.
Basic strategies for helping reduce stress and assisting children through the transition of divorce are as follows:
· Listen and invite conversation
· Speak with patience, openness and kindness
· Help them put their feelings into words
· Let them know their feelings are valid
· Offer support by spending time with them
· Assure them of the continued love of both parents
It is of utmost importance to remind the child that the divorce is not their fault and they are not to blame for this decision.
Lastly, before you choose divorce, consider this question: Is divorce really the best solution to the problem for my children and me? “I have known many happy marriages, but never a compatible one. The whole aim of marriage is to fight through and survive the instant when incompatibility becomes unquestionable.” G. K. Chesterton