Visitation Dos And Don’t After Divorce
For visitation to work parents need to acknowledge that their children now have two homes. It is important to help children feel safe and comfortable in both homes and to make the transition from one home to the other as smooth as possible. Endeavor to make visitation a normal part of life by:
· Making sure your children have their own space in your home
· Keeping a routine schedule as much as possible
· Including extended family in the visits
· Aiming at equality of privileges when step-brothers or sisters are involved
· Providing a balance between fun and responsibility
It is important to show respect to your children and former spouse by being on time to pick them up. Be sure not to stand them up or make other promises you do not keep.
Visitation don’ts include:
· Don’t make your children responsible for making the visitation plans
· Don’t fight with the other parent during drop-off and pickup times
· Don’t make your children feel guilty about spending time with the other parent
· Don’t bad-mouth the other parent
· Don’t spoil or bribe your children for their loyalty or love
· Don’t feel you need to be your children’s buddy during visitation. Your children still need you to be a parent.
· Don’t make your children make statements about which home or parent they like best.
One of the best ways to support children after divorce is to make visitations go as smoothly as possible. Focusing on visitation dos is the first step to help them adjust. “Children are not casual guests in our home. They have been loaned to us temporarily for the purpose of loving them and instilling a foundation of values on which their future lives will be built”. James Dobson