It’s About Not Getting Stalled
What is more frustrating than traveling in a car only to find oneself stalled by the side of the road due to mechanical breakdown? It’s important to us to be able to get from point A to point B in order to move forward in life. The counselor encounters many people who have stalled out and are complaining of being “stuck” in life. The truth is, it’s just no fun when we can’t get from point A to point B. In fact, psychology helps us to understand the importance of this forward momentum through life in courses like developmental psychology. Developmental psychology is the study of systematic changes that occur from conception, thru our life span and take us to death itself. There are two factors in the process of development. Our physical maturation, that is the biological changes that occur in us which are determine by our genetics and secondly the amount of learning that takes place in our lives as a result of interacting with others at home, school, work, etc. Social philosophers have debated for years as to how and why development takes place in human beings. For instance:
Little Brat Theory-Well that’s the name I will give it for our writing today. Philosopher Tomas Hobbes believed that children were born with a sin nature and were inherently bad due to original sin. This idea says that because children are selfish and egocentric they need to be controlled as they develop. Sounds right to me!
Little Angel Theory-What would you call a philosophy stating that inside each child is innate purity and it is only society that makes them bad? Philosopher Jean-Jacques Rosseau believed that and said parents should not control these little angels. Folks, I had two children of my own and I have 5 grandchildren and one on the way so suffice it to say I’m not buying it!
Little Empty Baby Theory-Yes, you’ve probably heard of John Locke’s theory of the ‘Tabula Rasa’. This philosopher says our children are like blank slates when they are born. They are neither little brats nor little angels. They are neither good nor bad. Society, parents and environment will structure the child’s life. As a parent I wish I could find the eraser-I think I made a few boo-boos on my kids’ slate.
Darwin, G. Stanley Hall and Freud were other pioneers in the study of childhood development. We can see that philosophy and psychology have been trying to find out the mysteries of development for a long time.
So don’t feel like the lone ranger if you’re feeling stuck in life right now and you’re just not moving. From your perspective you may have survived the childhood development but feel like nobody warned you about the adult stages. You know you are getting older physically but you don’t feel like you are moving in terms of accomplishments and purpose.
I think it’s important to do two things when we are stuck. One is keep trying. Winston Churchill said, “Never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never – in nothing, great or small, large or petty-never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense”. I agree with him. If something doesn’t work one way try it another and if it doesn’t work that way try it a third way and so on. Secondly, we would do well to look at ourselves holistically. We are not merely cognitive and physical creatures but we are also spiritual beings. Include God in your plan of action. Jesus promised that when we are in relationship with Him He would never leave us or forsake us. Prayer, the Bible, church attendance, and counsel from a healthy support group can bring renewed strength and new ideas. When we are stuck we often are tempted to turn to unhealthy lifestyles. Don’t do it. Do your best to stay healthy psychologically, physically, and spiritually. If you’re stalled try to get going again today! “There is no such thing as perpetual tranquility of mind while we live here; because life itself is but motion, and can never be without desire, nor without fear, no more than without sense.”-Thomas Hobbes