The Road Less Traveled: A Developmental Issue
My favorite poem is Robert Frost’s, The Road Less Traveled. In it he explains an individual’s movement toward a certain identity by setting forth the concept of choice. We all have to choose what we are going or not going to do with our lives. Many times our first encounter with such choices come in late adolescence. That can be quite a challenge as developmental psychologist James Marcia points out in his stages of development for the adolescent. He mentions four stages which range from one’s identity decisions made too prematurely just to get parents off their back to finally making the decision and achieving identity. Sometimes the picture of identity formation isn’t a pretty one.
In Frost’s poem, however, the setting is beautiful; it is autumn time of year and the leaves are beautifully colored. He’s walking along a road in the woods which comes to a fork. He is faced with a choice: “ which way do I go?” That pretty well sums up the identity issues that face us all, first in adolescence and then sometimes several more times in the life-span. It is not uncommon for people in today’s world to have several “careers” in their life. The important thing is to make a choice. Yes, sometimes we have a compelling desire to take both roads at once yet reality forces us to choose. Wouldn’t it have been interesting if in Frost’s poem he had gazed down both roads then in the paralysis of uncertainty turned around deciding to take neither one? Frost, in his wisdom, shows us that in spite of the difficulty in choosing, the reality of life mandates a choice.
Jesus also revealed the fallacy of neutrality as well as those trying to have it both ways. He said, “The one who is not with me is against me, and the one who does not gather with me scatters.” (Matthew 12:30) He also said, “And this is the condemnation, that light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than the light, because their deeds were evil.” (John 3:19) So there is no neutrality and there is no having it both ways.
Frost’s traveler is quite aware of the effects this choice will have upon his life. He realizes that he will be affected by the consequences of this choice for the rest of his life. Perhaps this realization brings about the paralyzing fear that causes some people to find themselves suffering lack of motivation.
Could it be the greatest consideration for all of us is the road not taken?. We might call this the “what if”consideration. What if I had done things differently? What if I had chosen the other road? How would my life be different today? That type of thinking comes not in the adolescent years of development but in mid life. Marcia said that identity formation was not only for the young but continued into old age. Who could argue with that? Sometimes identity is not so much about change throughout the life-span as it is just staying consistent and faithful. In the final analysis, we have no way of answering the “what if” question. We only know that our choice has made all the difference.
One thing is certain, we should make those choices which are firmly on the side of what is healthy for us. As a Christian, I’m convinced that the healthiest choices are those made which reflect not the lifestyle of the world but rather those of a set-apart servant of the Lord.
Joshua 24:15 says, “ And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”
“Life is tons of discipline.”-Robert Frost