ENOUGH TO BE TOUGH
I’m sure we all agree that life can throw us some curve balls. Have you ever wondered why some people seem to be able to cope better with the hardships of life than others? Those who work in the field of chronic mood and anxiety disorders are telling us that often the degree to which we will be tough enough to cope with life may depend upon the degree to which our emotional needs were met in early childhood.
In his excellent book, “Breaking Through Depression”, Donald Hall suggests that core emotional needs of a child are feeling safe, believing in oneself as a good person, and having a sense of power to change the world. If these core emotional needs are not met in childhood the adult world can seem persistently fearful or hopeless when the child grows into adulthood. Over the years I have found Dr. Hall’s premise to be true time after time, as I’ve counseled those with mood and anxiety disorders. Often there is abuse, abandonment, criticism and deprivation in the childhood of those who are fearful and depressed. Often the level of dysfunction in mom and dad’s life was so great that there was nothing to fill the love tank of the child. If children are not encouraged and convinced of their own adequacy it’s going to be an uphill pull in life to feel tough enough to cope with the stressors that come to all of us.
Now, having said that, it’s important as Christian parents that we do our kids a favor and teach them that they don’t have to do it all alone. Our kids should know verses like, “I will never leave you or forsake you” and “Cast your burdens upon me, because my yoke is easy and my burden is light” and “Greater is He who is in you than He who is in the world”. A healthy spiritual dependency upon the God of the Bible is a key factor in helping our kids feeling safe enough, good enough, and powerful enough. How about spending some time with your kids sharing these truths today?
“Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them.” Lady Bird Johnson, former U.S. First Lady