CHOICE AND IDENTITY FORMATION
When I was a young adult I chose to go to college. I chose to get married. I chose to get a job. I chose to have 2 children and to the degree to which I and my wife could control that choice not to have more. I chose to pay my bills no matter how long it took. I chose not to borrow more than I could pay back. I chose to live in a mobile home for 18 years rather than borrow money for a house bigger than my budget. I chose to be directed by eternal absolutes bigger and more far reaching than the time and culture I lived in. I chose to be a follower of Jesus Christ. Those are just some of my choices.
All of my choices have not been right. All of my choices have not been pure. The choices I have listed above I am proud of even though I have only partially succeeded in actually following through with them. But the point is I chose. And I will forever be grateful that I chose to work.
It seems to me that a large part of American society in the last 20 years just chooses not to choose. They just kind of set around and “veg out”. That seems to be their calling and vocation. Why has that happened? Well there is no doubt in my mind that much of it comes from the fact that they have had enabling parents. Enabled children don’t make important and necessary choices in life because someone enables them to opt out. Another source of enablement is the proliferation of entitlement programs which bail us out. Please don’t misunderstand me, entitlements are proof of a compassionate nation to those who are disabled and cannot work. But we have so expanded what it means to be disabled today as to truncate the self-fulfillment that many could have in spite of not having perfect physical or emotional health. It has become, in my opinion too easy to choose to say “I’m disabled because I’m bi-polar”, or “I have anxiety”, or “I’m overweight”, or you name it. It will be a blessing in disguise, I’m sure, when the government’s coffers at last run dry and we no longer seek to finance dependency.
For most people making simple choices will have a positive outcome. For instance, working, rather than opting out for living off your parents or entitlements, will be therapeutic and character building. Many times an individual’s lack of fulfillment is best explained by the choices they didn’t make.
If you’re at the beginning of your adult life remember the first step in identity formation is to choose.
-Continuity of purpose is one of the most essential ingredients of happiness in the long run, and for most men this comes chiefly through their work. – Bertrand Russell